SpyderLilly's Aesthetic Water Stains [waterstains|spiders|scroll]
Pink Ribbon Scars

[ website | The Blackest Snow ]
[ snowkissies | watch me but dont touch ]
[ memoir | I am denial ]

[14 Apr 2002|04:12pm]
I am abandoning this journal....and moving to another......here. I haven't gotten around to adding any friends yet, but please add me if you would like to keep me. I need a new face.
7 waterstains|paint me a raindrop

I miss the world I cannot see [07 Apr 2002|12:08pm]
As soon as this fair pageant is over I will have my life back and I can start actually getting online more than once a week. I am shoo stressed out. I haven't even had any time to listen to music really. I feel my life is on dull right now. But after Thursday ...peace
paint me a raindrop

[07 Apr 2002|11:49am]

5 waterstains|paint me a raindrop

all the way in. let it go. [25 Mar 2002|09:40am]
I actually wrote something. New poetry I added on my web site.......here. Look in the poetry section and it is the last two.
9 waterstains|paint me a raindrop

[24 Mar 2002|08:27pm]
I wanted to disappear for awhile. I don't want to disappear anymore.
paint me a raindrop

I don't want to be the filler if the void is solely yours. [24 Mar 2002|08:19pm]
[ mood | scared ]

I don't know what is wrong. How appropriate. I can't seem to accept life and the idea that I might be happy with it. Things change that I cannot control and I just don't want them too. Nothing stays here that makes it feel worth feeling. I have been dead for the last couple of weeks. Keeping myself busy, staying with friends, doing things, doing nothing important. I am so frustrated. I haven't been writing. Anything. Nothing. I want to be humbled. What I wouldn't give for someone to understand.

1 waterstain|paint me a raindrop

no [24 Mar 2002|01:05pm]
I am alive.
2 waterstains|paint me a raindrop

I swallowed some teeth bleach stuff and I feel sick..ick [18 Mar 2002|05:32pm]
[ mood | nauseated ]

I am begging my mother to let me get my belly button pierced. I really want this before spring break. Dennis and all of his friends are going too, just not with us. Mm...interesting. They aren't bringing any expensive alcohol. Just a lot of vodka to make jell-o with. That is my understanding anyway. Anyway, I hope my friends will want to hang out with them...I really like his friends, and of course him too. I am fixing to BAM (Books-a-million) with Laura.

3 waterstains|paint me a raindrop

[14 Mar 2002|10:06pm]
[ mood | hungry ]

plans for spring break confirmed. Going to Panama city just like year with Abby, Cassie, and a new addition (Amber). We are staying in Mexico beach @ Abby's beach house again. I have already started making mix cd.s haha. Today after school I went to Hathornes to pick out my pictures from my photo shoot a few weeks ago. He asked me to come make and model for some of his amateur photographers. I don't know if it would be any fun, but I am pretty sure I will get some free prints out of it. I spent way too much money today on pictures and only ended up with 5 proofs, 8 wallets, 2 eight x tens and 5 five x sevens. Senior pictures are soon so I didn't really want but a few this time.
I went to practice my fair pageant dance today alone at the studio and Dennis came and watched. I hope I didn't look too dorky. Anyway I have no more rubble to rub upon your canvas now.

3 waterstains|paint me a raindrop

rubies red with blood upon the blackest snow [10 Mar 2002|04:46pm]
[ mood | sick ]

My throat is really scratchy and feels sore as sore can feel without misery. Friday night something I found interesting happened. A big white bird as big as a vulture or hawk or something like that, flew in front of my window and almost hit it. I imagined in my head it hitting my window and sending glass shards through my body and Laura's as well. I could not get that image out of my head as I tried to sleep last night.

2 waterstains|paint me a raindrop

[09 Mar 2002|01:13pm]
I have been really busy lately and haven't been online much. Therefore I have decided to live my life more than write about it and I am putting this journal aside. I will still read friends posts.....but I don't think I will post anymore....maybe periodically...but I need a rest from livejournal.

Okay I have a hard time giving things up I enjoy. SO I have changed my mind and I am going to try and keep both a written and online journal just like always. Whats life if its not worth writing about.
6 waterstains|paint me a raindrop

so I memorized the color of your eyes as I lost myself inside you [05 Mar 2002|09:58pm]
[ mood | twined ]

moreCollapse )<img

4 waterstains|paint me a raindrop

yay [24 Feb 2002|01:09pm]
[ mood | excited ]

I am going to do a zine. yay. I am very excited. It will be a long process with lots of work and time involved and I am expecting to loose money but that is ok. So anyway...I have to go learn more.

1 waterstain|paint me a raindrop

blah. these are kind of boring.... [24 Feb 2002|12:19am]

5 waterstains|paint me a raindrop

[23 Feb 2002|11:38pm]
Something is fucked up with my computer and I cannot figure it out. It is like, there are gray stripes on the screen where it is darker. Blah. I am really tired and have been really distant lately, from livejournal, from any sort of productive activity......been just distant. I really DO need to be more productive. Tomorrow, I am making a list..haha.
paint me a raindrop

[22 Feb 2002|03:26pm]
I willl...................write in this tonight.
paint me a raindrop

there I lay. [13 Feb 2002|09:09pm]
Okay my web site is far from finished...but here! it is. Please look at it and maybe even sign the guest book? nothing like shameless self promotion.
paint me a raindrop

I recommend walking around naked in your living room. [11 Feb 2002|09:02pm]
[ mood | foot in mouth ]

How much do you think it will cost two 18 yr. old girls to live in a 2 bedroom apartment in Atlanta?

5 waterstains|paint me a raindrop

silly things [10 Feb 2002|12:54am]
pictures yoCollapse )
5 waterstains|paint me a raindrop

all the world just stopped [07 Feb 2002|12:07pm]
[ mood | aggravated ]

My mind has been absent lately from all things. It is hard to write or do much of anything. I feel so useless. This morning I couldn't even get out of bed. I just didn't go to school. The weight feels impossible to beat. Mission Impossible. Does this feeling of hopelessness ever pass?

2 waterstains|paint me a raindrop

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